Comments on: An Abrupt Climax

By: Joanna Sunshine

Joanna Sunshine — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 01:45:08 +0000

What a sad and unfortunate story. I have seen bad things happen on the playa before, and there are those who come to the burn to prey upon others. I agree we must be more proactive as a group to step up and and intervene if we see someone being abused – physically, sexually or emotionally. On the playa and in the default world we must protect ourselves from people who would do us and our loved ones harm. I learned at an early age not to trust people from my own experiences with abuse. I learned to keep people at arms length, to always defend myself. By the age of 23 I was so emotionally closed off and segregated from society that it was like being dead inside. I could not connect with anyone, I was scared of most people and I felt so alone. Then I came to Burning Man. I spent the first 3 days of my first burn being extremely suspicious of everyone. When a stranger would approach me for a conversation I would wonder, is this guy hitting on me? What does this person want from me? It made for some very awkward exchanges and left me feeling totally alienated in a crowd of 40,000 people. Halfway through the week I had an awakening, I realized that many of the people I had been suspicious of meant me no harm and were just trying to connect with me. That some of those people were probably trustworthy enough to let inside my walls. Since that awakening I have transformed into a person who can open up, who can let people in and trust them. HOWEVER, you have to be able to tell if a person is worthy of trust. I think some people at Burning Man (not necessarily Nettles) are a bit too trusting. My rule of thumb: If someone gives you bad vibes avoid them like the plague, if you can’t tell how you feel about someone keep them at a distance. Be a little bit wary just like you would in the default world. With that in mind, you can’t go too far or you will end up shutting out many beautiful people and experiences like I did for many years. I hope we can come together as a community and rally when we see bad things happening in the streets of BRC. I hope that you are able to shed the bad experience of what those people did to you Nettles, because there are many other Burners who would love to be kind to you and the playa will be missing the unique gifts that you bring to the table if you never return. Also, Jean Walker I feel sad that you don’t feel safe or welcome at Burning Man anymore. I would strongly urge those that are feeling the way Nettles and Jean Walker do to try a change of scenery next year. Try camping in a different area of the city where there isn’t as much partying. I camp with VW Bus Camp, we are always placed near Kidsville because we are so low key. That area of the city seems calmer, safer, less chaotic and full of helpful, loving, creative and protective family type camps. I will sign off by saying that I will be praying that next year will be more peaceful and positive with less abusive douchebags roaming the streets of our fair city.

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By: Jean Walker

Jean Walker — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 06:45:43 +0000

I have been a burner for over 10 years. I am 63 my daughter has been a burner since 1989 my Son since 91. We attend burning man as a family, (over 20) of us. and as family we take care of one another. we also step up and take care of the people around our camp. We visit other camps with respect. We have had people come into our camp and right out ask who want’s to fuck them. We have with dignity asked them to leave. I would have ventured and had ventured out on my own 7 years ago, I never venture out on my own (at night) in the past four years.. and I don’t believe anyone of my camp family would either. I volunteer at centre cafe and have experienced all of the nuts that inhabit the playa when the sun goes down. like vermon some of them. Some of them come there looking for the answer to their lives. Party you say?. No boundaries? All the sex and drugs you can handle? Really??? . Of course their are boundaries!! It is a city the one we call home. Our home for a little over a week. We help build it. When we say welcome home! that is what it is” our home”. we want to feel safe. I am sorry this happened to you. No wonder we need rangers now. I don’t think it is going to get better. It isn’t the place I used to know. I don’t feel safe or welcome there anymore.

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By: Skywriter

Skywriter — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 02:31:59 +0000

Nettles, I am sorry for the physical attack against you. It was absolutely wrong. Sometimes I wonder if when we have a spiritual epiphany like you did at the man’s fire, then we get hit hard physically with something that tries to take our focus off the positive and onto the negative. Please come back to burning man. You will be a little wiser in ” street sense” but you can still have your eyes wide open to experience the magic of spirituality that is all around the playa. If strangers can fight against us, then family can stand together and protect ourselves. Sending blessings to you for healing and strength.

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By: Nick freed

Nick freed — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 06:25:33 +0000

I’d like to defend Nettles by stating, the “default world” exists everywhere. And if you assume that all of the bystanders were non-violent members of the non”default” world, then what would you have them do against several drunk men and one violent drunken female. It should be the instinct of bystanders to stop to assault in a non-violent way. Do you think a non-violent way would have worked in her case? It wouldn’t in mine. We walked over 50 yards with a drunken violent idiot right on our tails the entire time while he followed. I’ve heard these types referred to as weekenders. Guys who come out to the playa to get laid and get drunk. I’m not claiming to be any kind of tough guy, I haven’t been in a non LE altercation since my teens but I could have chosen to obliterate this guy. I train law enforcement officers for a living. But I chose as a member of the BRC community to do as little as humanly possible to stop his assault without injury. Do you guys think that if a group of bystanders had walked up to these alcohol influenced thugs and in a peaceful way asked them to stop that they Swould have. Is it not also possible there would have been other victims of violence? The default world is everywhere, I brought that mindset with me when I arrived, but when a bad person acted upon a good person in a violent fashion, I acted to protect her, decency, morality and the greater good. This person would not have stopped attempting to harm others if not physically restrained. I did that. If not for the fact that he was half knocked out and extremely drunk I doubt the girls who intervened would have been able to stop him. Yes in our case bystanders intervened but it was very late at night and this person was already halfway incapacitated. This girl is talking about an entire group of violent people. Show me a person who is ready to take that on in the heat of day, without organization or guaranteed support. They probably would have had their asses kicked too. Unless it was a large group, in which case you ate now talking about a gang fight…..
I think she is brave and courageous.
Good on you Nettles! :-)

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By: Nick freed

Nick freed — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 05:46:54 +0000

We had a similar experience but without injury, to us at least, and it ruined our final day at BRC.
I talked my gf and my brother into taking a final walk around
The playa before we departed in the morning. Was walking around enjoying ourselves and the sights and lights. I very drunken frat boy type guy and his friend stumbled into my gf nearly knocking her over. He asked for a cigarette. I had some but was not feeling particularly generous after his behavior. We dismissed him after several attempts, and carried on our walk. Literally less than two minutes later the same guy, stumbled back into her asking now for a lighter. He was extremely belligerent and at one point pushed her. We asked him and his friend at least 15 times to leve us alone. After many “fuck you”s and verbal barrages of hateful language he then pushed my gf from behind and said “fuck you dirty ass burners!” I turned around
and smacked him in the face once on each side with the right hand and he fell on his ass. I have a strong law enforcement background and chose to hit him open hand without injuring him. it would have made sense for this to end the encounter. But within about 15 seconds this guy had stood back up and was approaching us again, now threatening. This guy was so drunk I doubt he could have kicked his own ass. I didn’t want to hurt him, I didn’t want anything to do with him!
It was just blind luck that a very large group of people had seen what was going on and stopped him and flagged down a nearby Ranger.
I didn’t go to BM to get in fights. I felt bad about hitting him but if I hadn’t physically stopped him from continuing, he would not stop.
All of us felt like crap and ended up leaving that night.
It’s not a similar story except that it involved unwelcome violence due to alcohol. And made our trip less enjoyable.
Other than this experience, BM was a wonderful time for me. My point is, don’t let one or two imbeciles ruin your spirit, or turn you off to the whole place.
I’m glad you weren’t seriously hurt.
-Nick

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By: Brian Cornwell

Brian Cornwell — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 02:58:36 +0000

I can see by this and other events against the souls that attend Burning Man that you have no way of addressing the problems that arise. The fact thereare problems is one thing but not addressing them is a huge reason why I won’t be attending. For one, nothing was even posted about who the assholes were. On another page someone was raped. By WHO? Why no mention of the rapist? At least post a photo so the rest of the community can ward against the asshole.

I won’t be going if the DEFAULT life exists there too. I live on the east coast of USA. Why would I travel thousands of miles to be in the SAME fucked up environment where there is no control. If BM is lacking in control then I would reserve the right to kick the living shit out of anyone that was just like they are in the DEFAULT world.

See you in the next world . . . please be late or better yet . . . don’t come at all

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By: Captain Starfish

Captain Starfish — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:21:50 +0000

The most disturbing aspect of this story is the lack of action by bystanders. Yet, this is exactly what one might expect in default…and like it or not we have been raised there. Like BARK, I’m outraged and wish I could have been there. I too have called for help, in agony, only to have bystanders gawk. When I was young I played the part of gawking bystander myself. Now I know, from being tested, that I’m no longer that sort of bystander and wish I could have been there…

Folks, tingle-bunny is being heartless and his words are sarcasm intended to provoke. Yet, he is onto something important. The last five fights I’ve seen have all been female-instigated. What the fuck is going on there?

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By: Miranda the Panda

Miranda the Panda — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 22:24:58 +0000

I got goosebumps when reading your story. I can feel the pain in your words and am truely sorry that you had this experience happen to you.
No one should have to go through this and sometimes human nature is not kind.
It’s very unfortunate…I do hope you go to counselling for the trauma these people inflicted. You said in one part of your story…”maybe i shouldn’t have said fuck off.” Please don’t think in any way that this was your doing. You had every right to do so when you weren’t feeling comfortable and needed space.
I sincerly hope that this experience does not stop you from returning to Burning Man this year or even sometime in the future. The bad outweighs the good, and thank god for that. This is definitely a reminder though that sometimes people come to BM with the wrong intentions and we need to make sure we are safe and paying attention.
I also would like to apologize on behalf of any true loving burners for the people who passed and did not come to you when you were in distress. We need to look out for one another and I am sorry for these awful people who did not help you and the ones who harmed you.
You are brave, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are a wonderfully kind soul and i hope that someday you return to BM and that you’re faith in humanity is restored.
*Sending you good thoughts, love, and dusty hugs*
Miranda the Panda

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By: Sparkle*

Sparkle* — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 05:06:21 +0000

Obviously this situation shouldn’t have occurred and a passerby should have helped you out by stopping the fight. That said, I want to offer some pragmatic advice to you and anyone else out there:

Burning man is a place everyone should feel safe and be able to count on the people around them. However, that doesn’t mean you should be naive to the negative things that happen at burning man, because they do happen. Don’t walk around by yourself at night (especially on burn night when most everyone is out of their gourds boozing or otherwise). Exercise some common sense and keep yourself safe, just like you would in any other city. There is no excuse for their actions but there’s also no excuse for you putting yourself at risk. Be responsible and take responsibility for yourself and your safety. Never rely on a stranger to do something you weren’t willing to do yourself.

Thank you. Sparkle on.

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By: BARK

BARK — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:24:31 +0000

I need to calm the fuck down before I can even respond to this story. I am a bit frightened by my anger at this moment. I wish I fucking wish I had been there. I wish I had been there. I consider this a personal failure on my part. I need to calm the fuck down. Thank you for sharing this story though. Please give me a minute…

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