September 12th, 2012  |  Filed under Playa Tips

Corrections from Burning Man 2012

September 12th, 2012  |  Filed under Playa Tips

Correction – this photo is of the 2011 Burning Man. We regret the error.

In an attempt to keep our community informed, I am correcting some of the more egregious errors I propagated at 2012’s Burning Man.

Correction:  Turning in a Census form is not, as some of you may have heard me say on several  radio broadcasts, mandatory.  You do not need a sticker from the Census in order to see the Man burn.  The Rangers were not checking to see who had stickers.  None of this was true.  I regret the error.

Correction:  Despite what was said on the radio by the Census in response to the previous lie, you did not need to get an image release form from Media Mecca in order to participate in the live Squirrel Nut Zippers video being filmed on the playa.  Not only does Media Mecca not have image release forms, but there was no Squirrel Nut Zippers video.  Really now.

Correction:  It turns out that really was Harley Dubois’ niece the other night.  I regret my loud, unnecessary skepticism.

Correction:  Even though several people you know might have said it was true, the Census was not actually offering a free dinner in exchange for going through a half-hour long “detailed demographic interview.”  I honestly don’t even know where that story came from.

Correction:  In an earlier correction I said that I honestly didn’t know where a particular story came from.  This was untrue:  I know exactly where it came from.  I apologize for the typo that led to this error.

Correction:  It was not a typo that led to this error.

Correction:  Despite what you may have been told by those treacherous bastards at BMIR , Skrillex was not playing at Media Mecca at 4:30 on Saturday afternoon.  As if he’d play an afternoon show.  Come on.

Correction:  Despite what a confederate and I may have told you, there is no “Burning Man Department of Vocabulary” that requests information about your language use at Black Rock City.  We were, however, sincerely interested in the development of a new word that means “a deep emotional attachment to the idea of having sex with a person with whom you feel no particular emotional attachment.”  Please put your suggestions in the comments field below.

Also, despite what we may have told you at the conclusion of the questionnaire, we did not actually appreciate your time.  We were self-evidently wasting it.

Correction:  I did know where the cool absinthe bar was.  I just didn’t want to go there with your friends.  I stand by this error.

Correction:  Despite what some of you may have thought, telling people to go to Media Mecca “to get the wireless password” is not actually an effective prank.  Your heart’s in the right place;  it’s just that Media Mecca already has so many people wandering in asking “how do I get online?” every day that we had no way of knowing that we were being fucked with.  We didn’t even know something was going on until you told us.

Correction:  Never mind what I said, I actually was trying to sleep with you.  Deep down, I think you knew that.

Caveat is the Volunteer Coordinator for Media Mecca at Burning Man. His opinions are in no way statements of the Burning Man organization. Contact him at Caveat (at) Burningman.com


12 Responses to “Corrections from Burning Man 2012”

  1. Five Says:

    Thankfully the Daft Punk trash fence show Saturday at 4AM was true. So amazing to see them live at the burn!

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  2. Brody Says:

    “We were, however, sincerely interested in the development of a new word that means “a deep emotional attachment to the idea of having sex with a person with whom you feel no particular emotional attachment.” ”

    I still have yet to find anyone who can define this for me. People just keep telling me that it doesn’t exist and I should call it Lust. I say that they are unenlightened and not worthy of the word, whatever the word may be.

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  3. SamsaBee Says:

    Wow that WAS Kevin Bacon!

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  4. BurningBetty Says:

    … and I would have had unattached sex with you, had I only known.

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  5. Foxwalker Says:

    I love your writing! Thanks and I look forward to the next one!

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  6. Decibel Says:

    These are all lies, built upon lies, good sir! And how dare you imply that any dis-information was disseminated via the radio. No such thing transpired, it was a mass auditory hallucination brought on by the deep inhalation of playa dust.

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  7. Merlin Maybe Says:

    I propose the term:

    “Fundipper” – One who is dedicated to fundipping (the non-emotionally charged activity you describe).

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  8. Olivier Bonin Says:

    The census is not indeed filled up by everyone, but there’s about 5,000, so let’s say it’s way more representative than any election polling (usually around 1,000 people).

    A few things to note:
    - ~50% of new participants every year. And 25% it’s their second year.
    - Less than 20% of people are actively involved in building something, or volunteering.

    http://afterburn.burningman.com/11/census/census_partact.html

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  9. ipoxia Says:

    What about correction: In 2012, the ice cubed line at the 3:00 plaza did not allow booze bribes, WTF?

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  10. Kevin Says:

    I think the new word, actually new words, should be gender-specific:
    For guys, pussylove. For gals, dicklove.

    How’s that for simplicity?

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  11. Nathan Aaron Heller Says:

    NOTE FROM THE EDITORS:

    The Caveat Magister Model #C has been roundly sacked. And stuffed.

    We regret any inconveniences or confusion he or she may have caused anyone.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled cleanse.

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  12. Dr. Dave Says:

    No apologies necessary. Spent many hours at the corner of Distrikt and The Bureau of MisInformation. 50% of the directions are false and the time is always NOW, you missed them. LY

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