Buzz Cut

Peer pressure means you have friends.

Last year in the early part of July, I was making my annual back-and-forth to the work ranch, and it was one of those grand summer nights at our beloved late beach club that the camp grins got the better of us, and out came the hair clippers. Being a fifteen year pony tailed hair farmer, I certainly had never shaved my head. Being the brawny and somewhat ruckus lads and lasses that they were, there was no sense in fighting when I was wrenched into the “chair”. Well, the day before, I had shaved off my beard just for kicks, and left this hysterical Tom Sellick looking mustache, so when my head was completely shaved a few very painful minuets later, (very dull clippers), the uproar of gafawing, pointing, and shrieks of har har’s were because they couldn’t decide whether I looked like G. Gorden Liddy, or the strong man at the carnival! I couldn’t stop touching my head. Bottom line is that it felt absolutely awesome in the high heat with a wet bandana and a cowboy hat. “Gonna defiantly be doing this every year, by golly!” was what I was saying with my head hanging out my truck window like a hound.

So, last week was a grand night just like the other one, and once again, we all enjoyed the bonding force of the clippers that are now part of the super charged kick off to the DPW summer season. And let me tell ya, with a couple of beers on a hot desert night in the middle of nowhere, a feller can get dang creative knowing that he’s got about two months to grow it out come bubble burst time in the fall. I mean, we got some crazy looking poodles working around here right now. Top carpenter, Pete Brenneman, aka “Big Gay Pete” wins the blue ribbon, with this Baby Huey baby bonnet looking thing, and I don’t think I’m gonna get used to it. He gets asked to put his hat on all through the day. He calls it a “Hori-hawk”, and I’m guessing that means horizontal mohawk, and I think you’re getting the picture.

By the way, he’s a big ol’ Iowa boy, and is anything but gay. It’s quite the hoot, actually.

So, it is Christmas Eve, and the gold stake goes in tomorrow! Spirits are way high, and my survey crew and I are feeling pretty good, motoring around the ranch covering last details. Thanks to Sled Dog and his tip top auto shop, our old friend the school bus has been oiled, tuned, buffed, and waxed, just like the tin man going to see the Wizard. I got all my flags, chains, range finders, and measure tapes in a row, and my old 1910 railroad transit is out of the box. All the project managers have checked in, the sawdust and welding sparks are a-flying, the Hyster fork lifts are roaring along with giant loads of materials, and the DPW is in full production and running full sail. It’s a grand feeling, lads, a grand feeling indeed!!!

About the author: Coyote

Tony "Coyote" Perez first set foot in Black Rock City in 1996, where he immediately went to work, ultimately becoming the Department of Public Works' Site Manager. He is renowned amongst the staff as Burning Man's Poet Laureate, as well as being an accomplished saxophonist with his band "Second Hand Smoke."

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